Anonymous asked: holy shit you give the best advice. how does all that just come to you?
idk, trial and error. i’ve fucked up enough in life to where i understand how i should’ve dealt with things. i havent done it all perfectly, there are a lot of bent edges and cracks along where i’ve traveled to get here, but i guess those experiences let me better warn and advise others. its not like IM right, do you know what i mean? this is just the way i see the world, its not the one and only right way to look at it. i hope no one thinks my advice is the resounding answer to everything because im just a kid too at the end of the day. i havent seen anything of whats to come so like, dont trust me as your guide, trust me as a friend whos trying to look out for you but can make mistakes too.
Anonymous asked: being so separate from my friends. It just feels so different now, we don't click anymore-my best friend and I- and I don't know what to do. I don't know if it's my doing because I've always been so busy or just...time and distance separating us both. I don't know what happened to me, I've become so isolated and everything is just so confusing.
are you away at college? cause i felt like that too my first year of college but regardless of where youre at with your life, its okay to feel like that. everyone has stuff going on and sometimes youre just overwhelmed. my best friend, who i saw everyday in the summer back in high school goes to school 3 hours away from me. which isn’t too bad, but its rough not seeing her all the time. we talk once a week on the phone, if only for 30 min or so, but we know that distance and separation doesnt really but a damper on our friendship. if you feel like whenever you talk to or see your friends you just pick up from where you left off, then there’s nothing to worry about. but if you’re feeling this fading, maybe try putting in a little more effort or just talk to your friend about it and see how they feel. sometimes they might be feeling a small rift too but dont really know how to grasp it. communication, whether its in an intimate relationship or just a friendship, is super important.
Anonymous asked: I did not choose to be unhappy. I tried to smile but can't hold my tears. Other people delight in making me sad. Did God conspired with the Devil to keep me unhappy? Or I'm just a born loser. But will it earn me a ticket to heaven?
I’ma let you in on a little secret, you do get to choose if you are happy or unhappy. It’s annoying and frustrating to hear, believe me because I still struggle with this myself, but happiness isn’t passive, it is active. Happiness doesn’t just come. You have to create it, make it into existence. Your hands must craft your own happiness. As for god and the devil, I don’t know. I’m still trying to find answers about that myself, but I don’t think suffering guarantees you a spot in heaven. I think living life as best as you can and serving others is a good place to start though.
Anonymous asked: And love, I don't know what love is. I don't think anybody really loved me.
Try loving other people. Try loving other people even when you think they don’t love you back. That’s where you’ll find the magic, that’s where you’ll find the real love. Sitting there saying “nobody loves me” will not make the love come. Giving yours away makes the love of others more inclined to seek you out and fill you up.
Anonymous asked: I am lost. None of my dreams came true. Happiness don't last. Friends betray you. People are cynical and mean. I have lost all hope. Only peace is attainable, but only after death.
How old are you? If you are still in your teens or twenties, or even your thirties, you are so horribly mistaken. Yeah the world can be shitty and people can be shitty, but you have a whole life to live. Tell me exactly, detail by detail, what will happen tomorrow, and I will tell you that you are right for losing hope. But if you can’t, I want you to look inside every bit of the darkness and find that shred of hope because it is there, it exists. You have years to go, things to learn, explore, find, seek. If you think death is the only peace you may every find then YOU are not doing something right. I’ve come to learn that there is only so much you can pin on the world, the rest comes from yourself. Make the most of your life.
As a kid, my religion and culture wouldn’t let me eat ham.
I just wanted pepperoni pizza but my mom made it clear
That as long the words of Allah was our song,
We would not eat sin. So I would cry
On our living room couch
Letting my tears stain the fabric dark.
My face was always dark
On the days kids brought ham
Sandwiches to school to eat on the bench we called “The Couch.”
(We called it that because it was covered in a wrap that was clear
In case people would pee on it or cry.)
My stomach always sang a jealous song.
In choir we always did a Christmas song,
Which I always found depressing and dark
Because Christmas for me as a kid was a time to cry
About how the kids who ate ham
Would come downstairs to presents. It was clear
To me that I would find no tree or gifts across from my living room couch.
The eleventh of September in 2001 I was sitting on my living room couch
With my mother watching the news play the siren song
For Muslims in America. It was so clear,
As the sky in New York filled with smoke, black and dark,
That it was a problem my family didn’t eat ham.
My mother began to cry.
Years later, I began to cry
With my mother on that couch,
But not for the same reasons. The kids at lunch would chant “You can’t have ham
Because you’re a sand n*gger” like a song.
My fury had never been so dark.
My body promised that the anger would never clear.
The liquid was clear
In every tear that I would cry
But if you could see how dark
And bruised my fingers were as I sat on that couch,
Gripping that pen so tight as I wrote song after song,
You would know how muddied and unforgiving I felt at the kids who ate ham.
Nowadays I try to keep my heart clear and take deep breaths while sitting on that couch.
Sometimes I cry about how I miss the love of and loving of a god, I no longer sing that song.
I know that sounds dark, what’s worse is that despite giving up Islam, I still don’t eat ham.
"I May Not Eat Ham But I Have Beef For You To Swallow" - Nishat Ahmed
This is the other poem I had to write for my final. It was a sestina where we had the 6 end words assigned to us.
My six words were: Ham, Clear, Song, Cry, Couch & Dark.
Hey guys! Okay so you can probably tell by my blog that I’m a total sucker for anything indie rock or indie folk. Nishat Ahmed, a fellow poet on Tumblr, actually has an indie band! It’s called Ocean Glass. Their song “When Summer Ends” gives me kind of a Blink 182 vibe. My personal favorite would be “Faith” which reminds me a lot of Blind Pilot, with the whispery quality of Joshua Radin’s voice. I would check them out if you want to!
Here’s their bandcamp
People are awesome. You guys are the most awesome though. Check out Van’s blog, she writes great stuff and can open you guys up to so more amazing poets on tumblr! Thanks for the shout out, Van! :)
Anonymous asked: Hey, I love your poems! It would be amazing if you wrote a poem about struggling with anxiety.
I’ve got quite a few poems that talk about anxiety, if you just go to sickwithsyllables.tumblr.com/tagged/anxiety you’ll probably find them all. I’ll be writing more about it im sure as winter drags on, haha.